My paternal grandmother, Louise Caputo, who gave me a lifetime of great memories and shared with me a time when my father was a kind, loving and very caring son.
My mother, Dolores Nola DePaci for her love, strength, and unwavering belief in me.
My book is dedicated in loving memory of the two women below who have always had my back and my best interest at heart.
What did any of us do to make my father keep away from the whole family and go find himself a new one? He seemed and talked like he hated us with every fiber of his being. It never failed, no matter how many times I tried to connect with my father, Pasquale Caputo; all I ever got from him was Pat Cooper, the angry comedian.
Why is Pat Cooper so angry? I still haven’t figured out that answer yet, and everyone I meet asks me the same question. I gave it so much thought over the last forty years and always tried to figure him out. I never could understand or make sense of where the anger and hate was coming from. And it got worse the older he got. Now you can hear him all over the radio and the Internet bad-mouthing even his colleagues in show business, using profanity all the time and screaming his head off.
When I think of home and family, I think of a place where there is love overflowing. And there is nothing more important than that. Nothing! That is one of the first things my paternal grandmother taught me and she constantly reminded the entire family throughout the years. That was her legacy in a nutshell!
My father has been blessed with good health, longevity, fame, success, two families that love him dearly and five grandchildren. What would anyone on earth want more than that? And how could anybody with all that be so angry all the time?
My journey hasn’t been an easy one and the pain never goes away. The healing process does take a long time, but I have learned to accept the circumstances of my life and I am just beginning to make sense of it all.
On another note, I have been very fortunate to be surrounded by so much love and credit my paternal grandmother, my mom, my sister, and my family, both the Nolas and the Caputos, my closest friends, and of course the writing of my story to finally make peace with all of this.
My purpose for writing this book first and foremost is to hopefully help other children who are going through or have been through a similar experience as I, of having a narcissistic, emotionally unavailable parent. Second, is to honor the Caputo name for which I am very proud of, the same name that my father in his later years tried to disgrace. Last but not least, to honor the unconditional love of my paternal grandmother and my mother because without them only God knows where my sister and I would have ended up.
It seems like I have been writing this book forever. I waited to publish my story until after my paternal grandmother’s passing to spare her from reliving anymore of the pain. But I am grateful to God that my mother lived long enough to see the completion and publication of my book.
At first I wanted to write about how much I hated my father for not caring about my sister and I, but deep down all I ever really wanted to do was to tell him how much I loved him and missed him being in my life. I tried my best to tell my father that, to show my father that, but he never saw or ever heard me. Maybe he just never wanted to. Every time we met, which was few and far, he found fault with my clothes, my manners, and always always with the rest of our family. These attacks became part of his persona and a way of alienating himself from me and everyone else in our family.
Dear Pat Cooper written by Michael Caputo, Published by Cody Boy Books, Copyright ©2006. All Rights Reserved.
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Copyright © 2006 Dear Pat Cooper. All rights reserved.